I am on my third day. The process of this body that has been carrying me for 52 years, 7 months and 4 days.
I am not feeling too great, I can tell you that.
Today I read in the newspaper, and when it is in the newspaper, it must be true, that 50% of the Dutch have decided to lose weight this year. Finally I am not in the minority. My diet is going well, I like what I am eating, I am an inventive cook and like to make something tasty but I really feel weak.
Yesterday at swimtraining I could compete for the first 45 minutes but then I was gone!
I swam up and down and walked a bit in the water and couldn’t do the crazy things Cor asked.
So now I am staying home with dog and cat.
It’s been raining and I already cycled to Lisa to celebrate her birthday and got all wet. I sneaked out of the party and cycled back in the rain. The idea to have Britta in the basket and get all wet and sick going another 25 minutes on the bike through the rain was thrown away. Home I am. And home I stay.
While I was cycling I ran into a group of 13,14 year old boys. They paid no attention to me whatsoever. I am always scared of groups with young boys, they seem so wild,so violent, so angry at anything and anyone. I realized I am an older woman and that my body had aged. Being younger I was scared too but I was strong and a mean fighter and could always fight them. Maybe I wouldn’t have stand a chance but let me dream on.
Maybe I am not that old now but I am lot older than 18, or even 40.
My dear mother once said to me:
‘Aaddiahh, it’s so strange, I am 63 but I don’t feel 63. I am still the same’
And that’s the truth.