Since about two weeks every morning when I turned on my computer I got a message that my software, Windows XP professional, was counterfeit and illegal. The message looked all cute and beautiful with flowers but was very disturbing, I bought this computer from some computerguy that had cost me a lot of money and I had no wish, nor desire to call the guy for an explanation. I decided to buy my own version before all my documents, my writings, my photo’s and my manuscripts would disappear into the big virtual void.
So I got my own paid and legal version Windows XP, home edition and installed it.
Then all computer hell broke loose. I don’t wish to bore you, have no intention to go crazy again or to re live computer hell but it took me a whole night to sort of fix it.
It took a day to get reorganized and it took another day to get my keyboard to work again. Now it does, sort of, and I am so happy! And proud of myself for fixing it. I am dead tired, have pain in my eyes and will have an early sleep.
But this is why you have not heard from me for some days. But I am back……………………
ode aan Dusty Springfield
1939 – 1999
Je draagt spinnen in je haar
en draaft rond door lege gangen
waar ruiten kapot zijn en regen op stapel staat
geen begin geen einde is
in de molens van je geest
Stof met stem
tot stof ben je weergekeerd
Ga niet weg, vergeet me niet
ga niet weg
nu de dag nog jong is en de nacht lang
want als jij gaat vertrouw ik niemand meer
ook al wens ik en hoop ik
Stof met stem
tot stof weergekeerd
en als ik dans dans ik op jou
tot tien tel je met ogen dicht
meer dan1 lach gaf je mij
want wat jij gaf is ontelbaar, ondeelbaar, onontvreemdbaar
Stof met stem
tot stof weergekeerd
jij stoffige spring in het veld
dusty dusty never got rusty
dusty dusty never got old
dusty dusty she sure got soul
So you see
it was empty nothingness,
it was black,
it was the abstinence of light,
pitch-black was I
there was no understanding
there was no she, nor we
it was before there ever was I and long before there was a thing like you, a you like you
before that there was nothing
there was oblivion, there was a void, there was hollow, there was I
so the darkness just fell unto me
it was gloom, obscurity and woe
and me I was lonely
I could not leave this endless night
as I was stuck
in one foot
in a forsaken place
light failed me
I wanted you
there was no you
there was no far
there was no thing
there wasjust I
I heard my thoughts that spun around a thousand time,
I started making sense
the light was I
>I don’t think anyone ever reads what I write.
But I want to post every day so here is my contribution for today.
Have been writing on a chapter of my manuscript. I was listening to Melanie rarities.
Recordings that for whatever obscure reason never made it to the public.
Most of the songs are heart breaking. Very intense lyrics.
Melanie’s voice is mesmerizing.
Like an angel.
Out of this world.
One day a week I am not using my computer. One day computerless. It’s good to not stare at this screen, or hear the annoying noise of the computer ventilator. Don’t you agree it’s pretty irritating this constant drone? I can’t really stand it. My IBM is quiet but not as quiet as silence. And I love silence.
So yesterday I worked in my garden. Rati worked on my front garden which is 10 meters long and 20 centimeters wide where as I trimmed my rose and my mariuhuana. I thought about harversting but have decided against it. The buds are still too small.
Rain is predicted so I put the plants in a pot under the balcony of my upstairs neigbor, rain can be good but with these tender plants it often causes mold and fungus.
That’s a waste.
So I keep a close watch on these plants of mine.
Yesterday night I finally watched
‘ What the bleep do we know ‘
a movie about quantemmechanics, i need to see the movie again to fully understand what those scientist say but what became clear is that you make your own life. What you want and ask for can be given to you. This is something I already believe in as I have noticed that by chanting:
my wishes came true. My wish for today, apart from my dear friends to be happy, is to write a 1000 words on my manuscript, so I guess I beter start.
>Waiting for my guest the nine year old Jay. Staying over night. We are going to ahve some fun I am sure. Don’t know yet, if I will stay home with her or that I will take her with me to the swimming pool.
Had a great dinner of salad and smoked salmon. Have not been really eating animals since I hooked up with Rati but thought I needed some fish.
I shredded the salmon up to put in my salad.
I made ahoney dill sause with pumpkinseed oil and started to enjoy the meal.
Till I saw the stripes of meat.
They looked so dead.
It looked disgusting.
Maybe I will never eat meat/fish again.
Would be better.
I dedicate my life to the Mystic Law through sound.
Chanting Nam myoho renge kyo is so wonderful.
I have been busy writing my manuscript that has no name yet. It’s been exciting and it’s been long. I wanted it finished last year but it didn’t. Life in the shape of the husband of my favorite singer and the friendship we all feel grabbed me away from my computer and dipped me in this Crazy Love.
But now I am here, not leaving for a while. Taking care of my sweet old dog Britta.
And loving Rati, my companion and loving her son.
So here I am, two years later, it’s been good and it’s been great and all the better for my story that has made a 100% change in feeling, emotions.
From down under on Top.
It will be finished in December. And I keep you posted.
>I just love this smell. I think Bardot had just passed, really pissy aroma. Schnoofy is watching me, he always does, keeping an eye on me and my surroundings I like his scent, Schnoofy sure smells assy right.